Counter productive thoughts,
Cloud my mind.
Like the over-cast view that dulls the sky.
I’m not going to say it can’t get worse because I know it can.
I’m not going to make stupid resolutions,
Life is unpredictable and I don’t need the residual fail,
I know I’d be better off with a plan.
Something achievable, set targets and aim for them.
But most important try to bring back my glow.
I feel like the light has gone behind my eyes,
It comes back in moments but mostly there’s just gloom.
2/01/24
Today has been such a strange, sad and long day and my mind cannot switch off.
I found myself writing, just words. Usually that helps it calms my mind, settles my thoughts and helps me process but tonight that’s not the case.
Today someone I know left this world, she had been ill for a long time. She was so brave about it, documenting her journey and hoping to help others in doing so. She was truly a beautiful person. With so much life left to live and love to.
We were never truly close pals, messaging from time to time, embracing when we saw each other at gigs or drag shows but that was the basis of our relationship.
Even so I can’t help thinking of her and her family.
As an over-thinker even writing this I worry of coming across as something of a fraud and fake. But I feel I need to honour her as a person. Because she was the kind of person that lit up a room and made you feel comfortable when in her company.
So this is for sassy with love x
Your presence radiates from your soul,
Casting warmth in the air,
Bewitching those around you and giving them a sense of ease,
Our friendship was more like a moment of fleeting acquaintances,
But in that it was enough, enough to say I knew you and will be forever honoured in doing so,
Today our world is mourning because it lost a strong, beautiful, charismatic, soul.
But you will live on in our memories and hearts.
(Sometimes no amount of words or rewrites will formulate exactly what you want to say – I think this is one of them cases) – I wrote this on 27/12/23 – It just didn’t feel right to post at the time.
In a room full of noise
I hear static
Why did I come?
I feel like a spare.
A spare in their moment, simply invited to entertain?
Laughing at my sarcastic temperament.
But I’m feeling silently judged,
Is this just my self loathing,
As they snap their photos,
laughing in their moment,
Why am I here?
Hayley Chaplin
02/12/2023
Your beauty is genuine,
You may not feel it or see it, but others do.
In world full of expectations
Whether it be wealth, career or status,
It’s about who you see when you look at yourself and what you need,
Change nothing and be you; YOU matter.
And the people who know you, the real you,
The dark and the light,
As well as beautiful colours that you personify,
Will out shine the dark and you will be everything and more.
Driftingforward 